Ella Begelfor

Things of interest

Tips for Shy people

The truth of the matter is, whether we like it or not, we need to learn how to make things easy for other people. What it really boils down to is that life is like a convenience store.

Most people are willing to pay more and get less for the sake of convenience. We are more likely to get to know people who make it easy for us to get to know them than people who put obstacles in our way. It doesn't matter if one person is as nice as another person, as kind as another person, as bright as another person or even has as much in common with us as another person. The person who makes it easier for us to get to know him will be the person we are more likely to get to know. Think about it.

If two people were standing next to you at a bus stop, one smiled, made eye contact, said hello and commented on the weather, while the other person avoided eye contact, kept to himself and looked down at his feet, who would you be most likely to get to know? Probably the first person, because the first person took the initiative and made it easier for you to get to know him. But as shy people, we are more likely to act like the second person and construct a silent barrier of avoided glances, sagging posture and general body language that discourages people from approaching.

Consider this . . . step by ever so small step, begin opening yourself up to other people. It could be with a smile, eye contact or a simple hello. Start small and work your way up to bigger and better things. Think about how it feels to be the other person. What they need to feel good. Remember, there's almost a fifty-fifty chance that they feel shy too. Put yourself in their shoes and do what you think it would take to make them feel good. That's not phoniness, that's kindness.